Bad news from gay days

Nothing like having someone ruin your gay (happy and homosexual) day by telling you that they are through with you. Like. Couldn't it have waited? Did they really have to ruin the one day of the year that you look forward to all year? Especially when you've now been together for nearly a year. I pretty much am fucking angry and hurt and crying and angry and lost right now. I don't even really know what to say. Someone help me make things right. I AM done with her. She was horrible to me anyway. But I was and kinda still am in love. Which makes this one of the most painful things of my life. I need friends right now. And who do I have.I really don't. God. I am fucking depressed

Pit in my stomach

I've been doing a lot of reflections lately and dear god I have gotten touchy. I never realized what a jealous person I was until two days ago. I was reading someones blog (though now  blogspot one) and they were listing off all their friends and how much they meant to them. This person was someone that I thought was one of my best friends. And I wasn't even mentioned. I have helped them through so much. I have always selflessly put myself out there for them. I never wanted anything in return. But I guess at least validation as a friend would have been nice. They were far from the first person to do it. People are so fucking selfish. It infuriates me. Makes me feel like being a bitch to everyone. People come to me when they have a problem. I talk it out with them. I help sort it out. Put things in perspective. Once that person is ok again they seem to totally forget about me until they have an issue again.
IS THAT ALL YOU FUCKING THINK I'M GOOD FOR?!?!?!
Obviously so. Clearly people only want me when they need me to make things better for them. People are so selfish by nature. So back stabbing and out for self-preservation. But let me say something to anyone who is reading this...

One doesn't need to ruin others in order to preserve themselves.

 So fuck you all. I'm done.