I'm still alive you guys! Isn't that just amazing. Sorry for my lack of updates. I have been very busy with school. I made A's in both of my classes! So at least I know that my hard work pays off. Just hope I can do the same next term. I will be switching campuses, THANK GOD, and taking nineteen course hours. Its going to be ridiculous and overwhelming. But if I want to be at UCF by Fall then this is what I need. And I know that if I try hard enough and stay focused I can do it. And pass with high marks.
Other than school I have been working on improving my personal life. I know one of my last real entries was about my relationship falling apart. Well as of this moment things are wonderful again. Whatever it is that we are it cannot be defined. But that doesn't bother me anymore. I am happy. I should be content, and am content, in knowing that I am loved. Really that's all I want out of life. Someone beside me to hold me at night and who truly loves me. That is the perfect life. There are bound to be disagreements and fights, but from each hard place you come to value the good times all the more. I wish more people saw things that way.
The only two things in my life I'm not content with are my lack of job and my body. While my hunt for a job has thus far been fruitless, I am going to an audition at Disney tomorrow with the girl. (she shall hence forth be referred to as my girl until situations change) And as far as the other aspect. I start a diet next week. I've done this one before. Its pretty easy to follow. And highly effective. I would have already started but I have to go grocery shopping first. And since I don't get any money until Friday.... Yes. Wait til Monday. Come Monday I will begin. Come 2010 I will be myself again. I will be revived. I will FEEL beautiful again.
Its a shame that I place so much of my happiness on my exterior. But I am still a teenager, though only for six months, who lives in America. Its been conditioned in me from as early as I can remember that thin is in. Thin is beautiful and to be large is to be disgusting and without self-control. Now. Don't get me wrong. I do know that that is not the correct way of thinking. I know that everything I said is ridiculous and false. However, its a feeling. Emotions and logic do not go hand in hand. For those of you who know about my past, don't worry. This will not be a repeat of that. I am going to be adhering to a very strict diet plan. I will work out three times a week. I will take drastic steps to give myself the best life I possibly can by being as healthy as possible.
Now if I have anyone out there who is willing to be a workout buddy... Well so be it. I would GREATLY appreciate some company and extra motivation!
Well. Thats all I have for now. I have plenty more to write but just can't right now. Someone should text and remind me to update this damn thing every now and then
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