I know I haven't updated anything in awhile. I'm sorry. I've not felt up to it. I've been so damn BLAH! I fell back into my eating disorder and the world turned gray. Nothing had meaning. Then I started to eat "healthy" again. And the world lost even the gray tint. It so easily consumes me.
School has been a blur. I have made nothing but A's. So that much is good. I have two TESTS on Monday though.I'm worried. Hoping me and the "girlfriend" can go study this weekend. I think we will tomorrow.
If you've ever wondered why I never call her my girlfriend but instead always put quotation marks around it, its because we technically broke up about two months ago. But we are still constantly together and still sleep together. Eh.
Trying to talk to her about the subject is another reason life has been dull. I tried to convince her that we could be a couple again. Be happy if we tried again. But instead she blows me off and stopped talking to me for the day. The TITLE seems to scare her. Though nothing between us would really change. She REFUSES. And it hurts me. I feel so dirty having sex with her even though she isn't my girlfriend. It just seems wrong. But who am I to complain. I still have my best friend who takes care of me and loves me. So why do I worry so much about the title of our relationship? I know I shouldn't. Oh well. Too bad. I guess its just the woman in me :(
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